What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
