Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
