Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
