omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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