Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
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