..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
