Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
