Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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