I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
