I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
