Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
