I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
