Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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