I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
