I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
