I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
