So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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