No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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