I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
