im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
