Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
