your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
