so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
