I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
