is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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