dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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