this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
