You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
