Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
