I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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