I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
