also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
