i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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