My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
