I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
