we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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