i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
