I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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