Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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