Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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