We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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