remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
worst night to have a conscience
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
