doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
