you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
