worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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