Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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