can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
