I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
