their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
