I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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