so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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