guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
