i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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