Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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