matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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