would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
