we have pet lesbian snakes
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
